


A story that deserves to be told

by silvermoongirl10



Series: Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart [1]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Porthos POV, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvermoongirl10/pseuds/silvermoongirl10
Summary: A modern AU. Porthos has decided to write his debut novel as a side job to his role as a social worker for foster kids. The story is one that he feels must be told, a story of his boyfriend Aramis' job as a SWAT officer who is faced with the reemergence of a gang that murdered his team in an Operation gone wrong called Savoy.
Relationships: Aramis | René d'Herblay/Porthos du Vallon
Series: Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637599
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	A story that deserves to be told

**Author's Note:**

> This modern AU is deliberately not set in a specific city or country, so I leave it up to you where you envision this taking place. I have never written in this format before so let me know of any tense errors and I'll fix them. Enjoy!

_This book is dedicated to my friends Athos and d'Artagnan for their encouragement._

_And to Aramis who is everything to me._

* * *

**14** **th** **June 2019**

Porthos looked at the blinking line on his word document. His hands shook with the thought of finally writing his story. Despite loving his job as a social worker, helping children just like him, he had always wanted to be a published author, mainly because his English teacher said he would never amount to anything in terms of literature. Aramis had been furious when Porthos told him the words his teacher had said to him when he was fifteen.

Thinking of Aramis, he half smiled. He met Aramis aged ten when he was placed with his fourth foster parent, Aramis' family lived next door. As soon as Aramis laid eyes on him, the nine-year-old declared them best friends. Initially Porthos had resisted, never having a friend before made him wary, however, he couldn't resist the blinding wide grin of a young Aramis for long. He also couldn't resist his growing feelings for Aramis and ended up confessing his love for Aramis in his second year of university.

He stared at his laptop screen, he knew what story he wanted to write, but he didn't know how to begin. This story was two years in the making and he wanted it to be right. A thought then struck him; Aramis, Athos and d'Artagnan were integral parts of the story and realised he could introduce them and then could see where the story from 2017 flowed from there.

* * *

**Page 1 – 2017**

Aramis was my best friend from the age of ten, he was mischievous and often we would get ourselves into situations, however, Aramis never left me behind to face the consequences. His father would read him classical literature, 'The Three Musketeers' being one of them. It's Aramis' favourite book of all time and he always lived by the Musketeer code. All for one and one for all.

When I went off to university to study social work, I could see that Aramis was happy for me, but also sad. He never said anything to me but I knew he was sad; he was worried I would spend my first year at university making new friends and forgetting him. That was impossible. I could never forget him. He then joined me at the same university studying criminology. I was there for him as he adjusted to living away from home and it was when my resolve weakened and I kissed him. It was perfect. I pulled back fearing I had just lost my best friend. However, Aramis smiled his bright smile and kissed me in return.

After he graduated university, he joined the police department and within two years, Aramis became the youngest police officer and in the shortest amount of time to join SWAT at the age of twenty-four. It made me so proud of him. On the odd occasion when I have been out in the city, I've come across him either on patrol or another situation. I love seeing him in his uniform, he looks so smart and seeing him in his element makes the fear worth it. Being in SWAT is what Aramis was always meant to do. Living by his favourite quote, all for one and one for all.

I met Athos at university, we had been assigned to the same flat in university halls and became fast friends because our other flatmates were very strange people. Athos was studying law and now is already in a high position as a prosecutor. I like to joke that Aramis catches the criminals and Athos puts them away. They make a great team. The closure rate of their combined cases is unbelievable.

The last to join our group was d'Artagnan, he joined us after he started his career as an intern with Athos. He is always amazed by Aramis' stories that get told when we would meet up for lunch or dinner. By the time he joined us, Aramis had been on SWAT for four years and found a new favourite hobby. He'd tell outrageous stories, some real, most made up. Poor d'Artagnan was left to figure out which ones were complete fiction. He had just started to figure out the stories when Athos decided to join in, at that point it seemed Athos and Aramis were trying to out do each other. So, whenever we all get together it's always fun.

* * *

**20** **th** **June 2019**

Porthos paused in his writing to look at the photo on his desk, it was just himself and Aramis at Aramis' police academy graduation in his dress uniform. He picked up the frame to look closer at the photo, he was stood pressed up to Aramis' left side, they both had an arm wrapped around the other. Porthos chuckled seeing Aramis' untamed dark hair peeking out in all directions under his hat.

He rubbed his thumb over Aramis' beaming face. He couldn't deny that while he loved that Aramis was doing a job that he enjoyed, he did worry about his boyfriend. Being in SWAT meant that he was sent into dangerous situations and sometimes he had to watch as the life bled out of Aramis' brown eyes when he was haunted by the things he had seen.

* * *

**Page 5 – April 2017**

I woke up to an empty bed and I knew that it was a bad day. The sheets were cold and the alarm clock read 7.30 am. Aramis only ever got up early on his days off when he had been awoken by a nightmare. I pulled myself up against the headboard of the bed and spotted my boyfriend sat on the window seat of our bedroom curled up with his chin resting on his knees, his gaze locked on something only he could see. I closed my eyes and sighed, I hated it when this happened. Aramis never liked to burden me with his nightmares, he thought it would make me worry more. He just never realised that I always worried about him.

I walked over to him and softly called Aramis' name to not startle him. Aramis slowly raised his eyes to meet mine. The bright brown eyes I love so much, were dimmed, like Aramis' life and soul had bled out of them.

"They all died," whispered Aramis, "I was the only one left." Tears began to slip down his cheeks.

I silently cursed. I knew which nightmare had plagued Aramis. Two years ago, Aramis and his team were sent to raid a major drug dealer. It was named Operation Savoy and the team hadn't been given all the relevant information. The drug dealer and his subordinates opened fire and the other five members of Aramis' team were killed, Aramis was wounded in the shoulder and left with survivors' guilt. While the gang escaped, Aramis was left to wonder if his teammates would ever get justice.

I sat beside Aramis on the window seat and hugged him tightly into my side. Aramis leaned his head against my shoulder and tucked his face into my neck. Just like the day I ran into his hospital room and found him sat on the bed staring off into the distance, his shoulder wrapped in bandages. His shoulders started to shake.

"I'm here sweetheart I'm here," I murmured into his hair. I hated how the job Aramis loved gave him sleepless nights. I hated that he had lost the team he spent six years working with, the men that had trained Aramis in SWAT, the men that had his back and on more than one occasion brought him home to me against the odds. It just wasn't fair that in the space of five minutes, Aramis lost all of them.

"They're gone, they're _all gone_ Porthos," Aramis cried.

"I know 'Mis, I know. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry sweetheart," I felt my throat tighten as I fought back my own tears. I had met Aramis' team and they were all great guys. In one mission gone wrong Aramis lost his best friends and teammates. After his time off work, Treville promoted Aramis to lead the new team. It was hard on Aramis, he never said anything but I knew he was looking for the faces of men that weren't there anymore. He looked to his Sergeant for orders and advice, to find himself in that position instead, with his new teammates looking to him for orders and advice.

Going to the funerals was the worst. Seeing Aramis in his dress uniform, each time trying to stop himself from crying. Looking at the families of the fallen, they gave me nightmares for weeks, in my dreams I stood in their place. _I_ had lost Aramis. I would wake in a panic, tears streaming down my face and Aramis was always there. A soft voice and tight arms hugging me. We saved each other for many days and nights following the fallout of Savoy. Its been that way since we met, we always save each other. But I can't deny that Aramis' job makes me fearful of the day that I might lose him.

* * *

**2** **nd** **July 2019**

Porthos was having lunch with Athos and d'Artagnan, but he wasn't listening to the conversation. His mind was wondering. Thinking about what he could write next.

"…thos. Porthos!"

He jumped hearing d'Artagnan's mild shout of his name. "What?"

Athos sighed and rolled his eyes, "Well, as you are evidently _not_ listening to us. I am now asking how is your book going?"

Porthos sighed, "Truthfully I'm a bit stuck. I've introduced you all and now I'm not sure where to go with the story. I just find myself sat at my desk staring at nothing."

Athos frowned, he then leaned forward to grasp Porthos' wrist. "I fear reliving that year is causing you some grief my friend. Perhaps it is best to leave it in the past and publish a different story."

Porthos shook his head, "No. I have to write the story. _That_ story."

"But _why_ Porthos?" asked d'Artagnan, "It's upsetting you writing about it."

"Yes, but that is why I must write the story. Perhaps the nightmares will not haunt me anymore once I have written every single one of them down." Porthos responded with some sharpness to his voice. He knew his friends were only worried about him, and yes 2017 was not a good year. However, he felt it deep in his bones that he needed to write the story. It was a story he felt should never be forgotten. He owed Aramis that much.

* * *

**Page 14 – May 2017**

Unless Aramis was on shift, he always made sure to come to lunch or dinner with Athos, d'Artagnan and I. Well mostly. The anniversary of the day Athos' wife was arrested was a day Aramis always made sure he was on shift for, even if it meant doing over-time, covering for someone else on a different team or whatever excuse he could find. The thing is, the day Athos' wife was arrested, Aramis was still a patrol officer and been ordered to act as back-up with his partner for the homicide detectives. Aramis had to stand there as Anne was arrested in front of Athos for the murder of his younger brother. Aramis has never said a word about that night, neither has Athos for obvious reasons. It took a long time for Aramis to even meet Athos' gaze. I think, even all these years later, Aramis felt guilty, as Athos' friend he wanted to comfort him. In one act Athos had lost his brother and his wife, and Aramis could not be there as a friend. He was there to witness the arrest and act as back-up just in case Anne tried to do anything rash. For a very long time Aramis would not forgive himself for this, despite the number of times I told him that he had nothing to blame himself for. For a while their friendship was strained, Aramis felt guilty and Athos was confused by Aramis' distance.

I'm not sure exactly how they fixed their friendship, but I know it involved both of them at the shooting range. How that helped I'm not sure. However, if I know those two, which I do, then I do not think I would _ever_ want to know what happened on that range. It probably involved some questionable stunts and for the sake of my hair not turning grey, I am quite happy living in ignorance.

* * *

**Page 50 – 1** **st** **June 2017**

I was sat on the couch aimlessly watching TV, waiting for Aramis to return home. When he did, it was with the front door of the house slamming shut with a bang that seemed to shake the very foundations of the house. I sat up confused as Aramis flung his bag across the floor, it slid across the wood and came to a sudden stop when it crashed into the coat stand, that by some miracle kept standing. Aramis kicked off his boots in a frantic manner, leaving them scattered in the doorway, then without a glance in my direction he stormed up the stairs.

Within seconds I was moving, the TV was off and I kicked Aramis' boots towards the wall and then I ran up the stairs. Internally I was panicking, Aramis was normally so unshakable, the only time I had seen him like this was after Operation Savoy.

Once I reached the top of the stairs, I was immediately faced with our bedroom door wide open and Aramis pacing the length of the room running his hand through his messy brown hair. I stopped in the doorway and watched for a few moments. Aramis' normally calm brown eyes were wide in disbelief and grief, his steady hands were shaking and his face was pale, all the colour sucked out of his skin.

"Aramis? What's happened?" I tensed, waiting to hear terrible news. For a few moments I feared that he had lost another teammate. For this was how Aramis looked for months following Savoy. "Who was it?" I found myself asking, cursing myself for the words that had slipped out.

Despite cursing myself, the words brought Aramis to a stop. He half turned to face me and shook his head. "No one. At least not _yet_."

I breathed a sigh of relief and then frowned in confusion. "What do you mean 'not yet'? I don't understand."

Aramis tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling blinking his eyes. He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finally forcing out. "Evidence has been uncovered…intelligence actually. The gang targeted in…Operation…S…Savoy…they're back in the city…and Treville has assigned _a different team_ to assisting with the case! _A DIFFERENT TEAM!"_ Aramis shouted the last words, his anger surging. He gripped his hands tighter in his hair. "Treville told me he doesn't want me anywhere near the case! _Me!_ I am the only one left! I buried my friends, _my brothers_ , and he won't let me get justice for them!" Aramis' voice cracked, I saw his legs starting to shake and rushed forward. I hugged him tightly to my chest and rubbed his back in comfort.

"I understand your anger Aramis, but Treville lost your brothers as well. I could see how badly he grieved for them. He just doesn't want to lose you to the same people. Your job is dangerous enough without adding a murderous, bloodthirsty gang like them into the mix." I pressed my cheek to the top of Aramis' head and gave a small smile as I said, "And you _know_ you are Treville's favourite."

Aramis snorted in amusement, "I am irresistible." He whispered, there was no humour in his voice, but the fact that Aramis was making a joke helped me to breathe easier.

"You are," I smiled and kissed his forehead. I led Aramis over to the bed and helped him change into his comfort clothes, he always wore them when a case or nightmare got to him or when he was ill. It was a short sleeve white T-shirt with our old university logo and pair of orange checked pyjama bottoms. Once I had gotten changed, I snuggled under the covers beside him. I tilted Aramis so his head was resting on my chest and I began to run my fingers through his hair, I gently twisted the brown locks around my fingers and felt Aramis relaxed against me.

"I just wanted to get them justice," murmured Aramis.

I closed my eyes, hearing the pain in Aramis' voice. "I know sweetheart, but I know your brothers would not want you to risk your life in search of justice for them."

"I know," sighed Aramis, "I just wanted to _do_ something for them."

I hugged Aramis tighter. "You are by living. Also, knowing Treville, he will probably bring you in to see them questioned and formally charged. You will see your brothers get justice."

"You're probably right," nodded Aramis.

"I usually am," I grinned.

I continued to run my fingers through Aramis' hair, it wasn't much longer before I heard his breathing even out and his body relax against mine. I kissed his forehead once more, before I let myself follow him into sleep.

* * *

**Page 95 – 1** **st** **August 2017**

As the days dragged into weeks, I could only watch as Aramis lost himself further and further into the past. Intelligence was sporadic at best. Aramis just had to sit and wait on the side-lines, and he never did well waiting. His mother always said Aramis could do a great many things, however, waiting was not one of them.

His nightmares seemed to return with a vengeance, his skin grew paler and circles began to appear under his eyes. I knew it was getting bad when Treville called me to ask if he thought Aramis should be put on desk duty or given immediate leave. I answered no to both, I knew sitting around doing nothing would only make Aramis feel worse.

I called Athos and d'Artagnan and told them what was happening. They invited themselves around to the house most evenings. They managed to breathe life into the house, they became a distraction. Not only did they help Aramis, but they also helped me. My worry for Aramis kept increasing and I was beginning to find it harder to concentrate at work, worrying if maybe I should have told Treville to take Aramis off active duty.

After four weeks of this, I decided that I needed more help than just Athos and d'Artagnan. And as the saying goes. If the drone attack fails, its time to put boots on the ground, specifically the green berets. The green berets in this case being one Luciana d'herblay, Aramis' mother.

She came over one weekend and decided that her husband must look after himself for the foreseeable future because she temporarily moved into our spare bedroom. She made sure Aramis (and myself) ate three square meals a day. She made breakfast, she made packed lunches of either sandwiches or leftovers and she made dinner. She did everything for us, which made me feel guilty but Luciana shrugged off my concerns and continued on with her personal mission. Which was to breathe life back into her son.

Aramis at one point tried to convince Luciana to go home. "Mama, Papa is probably starving by now. You know he can't cook. He can't even boil water for pasta without somehow setting it on fire." I chuckled into my hand; the many failures of Aramis' father's cooking exploits were at this point legendary. Aramis and his three sisters loved to re-tell stories of their father trying to make them all breakfast when they were children when Luciana was visiting her sick parents. It included having to re-paint the kitchen before Luciana returned home.

Luciana stared at Aramis with an unimpressed look on her face, her hands were on her hips, looking every inch the disappointed mother. "Don't make your father into an excuse. Besides I made him plenty of dinners and put them in the freezer. All he has to do it defrost them in the microwave."

Aramis shook his head and mumbled to me, "She's being optimistic. Papa will probably leave something metal in the microwave and blow it up. I'll be surprised if she has a house and a husband to return to." I snorted in laughter, glad to hear Aramis' sarcastic sense of humour returning.

Luciana tsked, hearing every word Aramis said. "Well if you don't want me temporarily moving in with you. Then perhaps you should start filling your two spare rooms with grandchildren so there would be no room for me to move into. As I would not _dream_ of evicting my grandchildren from their rooms."

Aramis choked on his own breath, I laughed at the look on his face. It was the first bit of life I had seen on Aramis' face in weeks. I nodded to myself, yes calling in the green berets was definitely the right call. Aramis recovered himself and followed his mother into the kitchen calling out, "are you forgetting the two grandchildren that already exist? I'm sure Emily will be _thrilled_ when I tell her you're asking me for grandchildren when she's already given you two!"

I sat on the couch and laughed. Hearing the distant voices of Aramis and Luciana in their 'discussion'. Aramis was the youngest of the four and quite often throughout his life was left at the mercy of his sisters. Although Emily had taken great pleasure in informing her three younger siblings that as she had had her children, Luciana would leave her alone on the grandchildren conversation front. Elena and Isabella used the excuse that they and their partners had not yet settled down enough for children. Which left Aramis and myself in the firing line, both of us were settled in our careers and had recently bought a three-bedroom house. Not being married yet apparently was not an issue, in Emily's words, neither of them would be pregnant so therefore would not need to worry about our clothes size.

Luciana stayed for two weeks, before she deemed Aramis back to his normal self and left to see if her husband had left their house standing.

If Aramis thought that was the end of it, then he was sorely mistaken. Luciana had sent word to the three sisters that they need to come and check on Aramis regularly. Many times, Aramis would return home to find myself and one of his sisters on our couch. Most visits were met with Aramis rolling his eyes at the fussing he was receiving. However, the times Emily brought her son and daughter over were met with more enthusiasm from Aramis. He would disappear with the two youngsters and Emily would get a break with Aramis tiring them out. It was an arrangement that benefitted them both. The best times were when Athos and d'Artagnan came over at the same time. I somehow managed to keep hidden the photo I took of Aramis, Athos and d'Artagnan participating in a tea party, feather boas and all.

It was good to see Aramis laughing again, but the pit in my stomach would not go away. I knew that the worst was yet to come and eventually Aramis would be faced with his past and there would be nothing any of us could do to prevent it. We could only be there to support him in the aftermath.

* * *

**Page 120 – 31** **st** **August 2017**

I was at one of the five foster homes I often visited to check on the kids I was responsible for, when everyone's attention was drawn to the news. I wondered over to the TV to find it reporting live on a bank robbery. I watched with everyone else as the camera was able to show close ups of the various members of the police who had responded to the call.

"Hey Porthos! Isn't that Aramis?" asked Gerald.

I blinked and sure enough, there with his face clearly visible was Aramis. Decked out in his black uniform and helmet, his sniper rifle held in his hands as he talked to, who must have been in charge of the scene. "Yes, its him," I sighed.

During times when Aramis was stressed and not himself, I often worried about him and during these times wanted to ignore every thought of Aramis' job. Now I was forced to watch it on live TV. I relaxed somewhat seeing Aramis' rifle, it meant it he was going to be put in the sniper position, he would be out of harms way. However, I knew Aramis becoming the sniper meant the situation had deteriorated enough that Aramis was needed to give non-lethal or lethal blows to the perpetrator. Going by the grim looks on everyone's faces I guessed that Aramis would be dealing out a lethal solution.

I wondered how Aramis would be when he returned home. Sometimes, if he had taken a lethal shot it would haunt him for a while. I was worried, with the Savoy gang returning, I was sure Aramis would be running himself ragged with his worries and guilt.

However, that evening Aramis seemed calm. I wondered if he was bottling everything up, he did have a bad habit of doing that. I realised too late that watching him to make sure he was alright would not go down well. And sure enough, while eating dinner my looks were noticed.

"Porthos. Why are you watching me like I'm a bomb waiting to go off?" asked Aramis tersely.

I thought about denying it, but I knew that would only go down worse. "I'm just worried about you."

Aramis looked up from his plate and replied, "Well I'm fine. Nothing to worry about."

"Nothing to worry about? Aramis there's a lot going on for you, it's understandable if you were not okay," I responded, I placed my knife and fork down and met Aramis' brown eyed gaze. "I love you, so I will always worry about you."

Shaking his head, Aramis stood up, "I'm fine." He picked up his plate and began putting it in the dishwasher.

I stood up as well. "Aramis please, you can tell me what's wrong."

"There is _nothing wrong with me_!" snapped Aramis, he turned around to look at me. "Stop looking for things that are not there!"

"Don't be stupid!" I retorted, "Aramis I know you! I know when something is bothering you!"

"So what if something is bothering me?!" shouted Aramis, he threw his hands up in the air. "Just because something is bothering doesn't mean that there is something for you to worry about!"

I took a step towards him, "Aramis, I understand that the gang from Savoy is-"

"Don't say another word!" snapped Aramis, his usually warm brown eyes turned cold. I silently cursed myself, knowing Savoy was a sore subject. "You _have no idea_ what I feel about Savoy. You _have no idea_ what it is like to see five friends killed in front of you. So _don't ever say_ that you understand what I'm feeling about that! Because you don't!" With that Aramis stormed out of the kitchen and thundered up the stairs. I closed my eyes and leaned against one of the chairs. It was very rare for Aramis to lose his temper like that and even rarer for him to lose it at me. I knew I touched a nerve, but I was so worried about him that I hoped that Aramis would tell me about what was bothering him. Even though I had a pretty good idea, I just didn't want him to keep his feelings bottled up.

* * *

**31** **st** **July 2019**

Porthos rubbed a hand over his face. Thinking about that night brought back the anxiety he felt at the time. That night Aramis stayed in one of the spare rooms, but Porthos knew he hadn't been sleeping, he'd heard Aramis pacing all night. He knew this because he hadn't slept that night at all, too worried about Aramis. The next morning led to Aramis quietly saying he was sorry. Porthos remembered the tight hug he had pulled Aramis into, he said it was okay, it was. They both were under a lot of stress and worry. Porthos spent the whole day worrying about Aramis and only breathed a sigh of relief once Aramis returned home to him unharmed.

He blinked his eyes trying to prevent his tears falling. Perhaps Athos was right, and that writing this story, bringing up old memories and feelings was not good for him. But he kept telling himself the same thing. Despite what he was feeling. He owed it to Aramis to tell his story, it was something that deserved to be remembered.

* * *

**Page 190 – 14** **th** **September 2017**

During the days after our argument, I felt like I was walking on eggshells, not because of Aramis, but because deep in my bones I felt, I _knew_ that something bad was coming.

This Thursday morning, I woke up with my stomach twisted in knots and a feeling of dread that almost had me bent in half from pain. I managed to plaster a smile on my face at breakfast, I never let Aramis go to work with anything less than a smile from me. I never wanted him to worry. But as I hugged and kissed Aramis goodbye that morning, I knew it was going to be a bad day, and I found myself hugging Aramis tighter.

"Have a good day," I murmured into his neck, I barely refrained from adding _whatever happens, please just come home_.

"You too," and then Aramis was walking out of the front door.

I spent the morning with my hands constantly squeezing each other, I used the pain to try and ground me. Every second a kid or staff member wasn't speaking to me I found my mind wandering to Aramis. Not matter how many times I checked news headlines on my phone to reassure myself, the feeling of something bad didn't go away. I even forgot that Athos was meeting me at the home for lunch. I tried to smile and fake my way through lunch. I failed. Athos decided he was going to work on his paperwork for the rest of the afternoon at the home with me. He didn't know how to help and to be honest there was only thing that would help and that would be having Aramis back home safe and sound.

I spent the afternoon working at a sluggish pace, it was like weights had been added to my limbs. I watched the clock tick by ever so slowly. Athos was valiantly trying to engage me in conversation, but I barely responded.

I was drawn out of my head at the unmistakeable blare of sirens pulling up on the road. The kids pressed themselves to the windows to look. Athos helped the staff and I to quickly heard the kids deeper into the home. Little eight-year-old Robin was pressed against the window, we weren't supposed to have favourites but I was close to Robin, and Robin loved it when Aramis stopped by to play with him. I grabbed Robin and began herding him away. He twisted out of my grasp and pressed up against the window again. My heart twisted at his words.

"Look Porthos! Its Aramis!"

I stood beside Robin frozen to the spot. Aramis was a hero of Robin's and Robin looked at him like he hung the moon and stars. When I looked out of the window, true enough, stood by the SWAT van was Aramis, but I was confused, he wasn't with his normal team. My eyes flittered over the group in uniform and beside Aramis was…Treville. I gasped sharply. Treville rarely left his desk, he only went out on very dangerous or risky calls and the only situation I was aware of that would have Treville and Aramis together without Aramis' usual team was the Savoy gang.

I was shocked, here on this sleepy residential street, one of the deadliest gangs in the city's history had hidden themselves here. Four houses down from the group home. Anger swelled up inside me. They chose _here_. Here where the kids slept, played and walked to and from school. The monsters that left Aramis haunted and traumatised for _years_ were right under my nose.

"Get back Robin!" I hissed as I pushed Robin back into the arms of one of home's helpers. Robin opened his mouth to protest, but the look on my face quickly silenced him. He was pulled back towards the other children with no complaint. He just watched me with a look of confusion and a growing sense of fear.

Athos came to stand beside me and realised, just as I had, what was happening. He tried to pull me away from the window, but I wouldn't move. I found that I couldn't look away and I didn't want to. Aramis was there. He was _right there_. He stood stiffly beside Treville, watching as Harry, the team leader of the team they were with issued out orders.

Suddenly gunfire erupted from the house they had surrounded. I flinched back from the window as I watched glass shards scatter into the street and faces of the SWAT team.

* * *

**31** **st** **July 2019**

Porthos bent forward until his forehead rested on the edge of his desk, he wrapped his arms around himself. Either to comfort or protect himself, he wasn't sure. He felt tears begin to build up behind his eyes and fought to keep them from falling, a quiet whimper worked its way from between his gritted teeth. He took a deep breath and sat himself up and at the wrong moment his eyes fell on the photograph of himself and Aramis at his Academy graduation. The tears slipped quietly down his face; his shoulders began to shake from his silent sobs. Taking a deep breath, he raised his hands to his laptop, and while they shook at old feelings of fear and grief, they began to type out the end of their story.

* * *

**14** **th** **September 2017**

Athos pulled at my shoulders more insistently, but my feet remained firmly rooted to the floor in horror.

The SWAT officers all dived for cover and with their guns raised, fired back. During the chaos I watched as Aramis pushed Treville down to the hard surface of the road. I winced in sympathy as Treville took the brunt of his and Aramis' hurried decent down and hit the road hard.

Suddenly the gun fire stopped, it was unnervingly quiet. Aramis pulled Treville up and inspected his head, where blood began to smear his face, so much that even I could see it. Aramis got to his feet and grabbed his fallen gun, as he circled around the back of the van. I shifted nervously and then lost my view as Athos managed to pull me away completely from the window.

"Athos stop!" I tried to struggle out of his grip.

Athos grunted as he managed to pull me a few steps away, "You don't need to watch this!"

"Athos please! You don't underst-" my protest was cut off by another sporadic burst of gunfire. Athos' hand tightened on my arm, but in my desperation, I was able to escape his tight grip. I stood in front of the window and shook my head in denial at the sight before me. Treville was crouched over a figure lying on the ground. I knew that dark head of hair anywhere.

" _No!_ " I started running for the front door, I was outside before Athos could react. " _Aramis!_ " my voice cracked on his name.

I ran to him and skidded on my knees beside him, Treville looked up in shock to see me. Treville shook his head and looked down at Aramis, he was putting pressure on the wound on Aramis' chest. "Hey Aramis, Porthos is here so you have to stay awake."

My heart broke looking down to see Aramis' pale and pained face. His dark eyes flickered open at my name. "P'thos?"

With a shaky hand, I began to run my fingers through Aramis' hair. "I'm here 'Mis, I'm here."

"Hoped you weren't. Didn't wan you t' see," slurred Aramis.

My eyes filled with unshed tears at the growing red stain growing out from under Aramis' chest. "You have to stay awake 'Mis," I pleaded, I half listened to Treville barking out orders trying to get the scene safe for the incoming paramedics.

Aramis' breathing turned into wheezing gasps and it seemed to take him more effort to draw a breath. I raised my panicked eyes to meet Treville's own wide ones. We both turned hearing Harry shout the magic words "scene secured!" I watched as the surviving gang members were led out of the house in handcuffs. "Get those paramedics here _now_!" yelled Treville.

I leaned closer to Aramis ignoring the blood seeping into my clothes and smearing my hands. "Aramis they've been caught. They can't hurt anyone anymore," I swallowed around the tightness of my throat.

Aramis nodded sharply. "Good. Justice."

"Yes, so you need to live to see it through," I jumped at the sudden appearance of Athos' voice and the man crouching beside me. Athos looked pale and shocked, as if he couldn't comprehend the sight in front of him. "We still need you Aramis," Athos quietly confessed.

Aramis twitched and raised his arm nearest Athos and I. He managed to squeeze my free arm. "I love you Porthos," wheezed Aramis.

"Don't," I pleaded shaking my head, "Don't say goodbye."

"That is not needed Aramis," added Athos as he reached over to squeeze Aramis' hand.

To my horror, Aramis' eyes began to flicker shut. "No! Aramis! Aramis _stay with me!_ Don't go!"

Aramis squeezed mine and Athos' hand once more and then his eyes closed and then he went still. I started to scream; Athos pulled me back with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I watched detachedly as the paramedics worked around Treville who was still putting pressure on Aramis' chest. Treville's eyes looked up to meet mine, they shinned with unshed tears and looked at me grief stricken.

It was a blur from that moment on. Treville was rushed into the ambulance with Aramis, while Athos drove me to the hospital. I waited and waited in the waiting room, not knowing for how long I was waiting for. But I knew what I was waiting for. I was waiting to hear that the man I loved was going to live.

Athos gripped my shoulder and with a hardened gaze he gritted out, "Whatever happens, I promise you those…those _monsters_ will never see the outside of a jail cell ever again. I already lost one little brother to a monster and I _will not_ lose another."

I was briefly lightened by Athos' words. I knew with his high position within the prosecutor's office he would keep his promise. I also knew Aramis would rest easier knowing justice had been served. My breaths shuddered thinking about Aramis. I just needed him to be alive, I could deal with injured but I couldn't lose him.

At that moment I looked up to see the Doctor walking towards us. Athos, Treville and I stood up at one to meet the Doctor. I paused and began to shake my head; the _pitying look_ the Doctor was giving me broke my heart clean in two. My shaking legs gave out and I slumped heavily into my chair. I bent forward and gripped my hair with my hands.

_Nononononononononono._

* * *

**31** **st** **July 2019**

It was dark now. Porthos' hands were still shaking. The book was finished. His shoulders shook as tears streamed down his face. That day, almost exactly two years ago, had continued to haunt Porthos every day. He wiped a hand across his face and tried to hold back his sniffling.

Porthos jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder. "Is it finished?"

"Yes," Porthos nodded.

"Maybe you can finally rest now. I still wished you had listened to me and did not write this. Why would you put yourself through this?"

"Because the story deserves to be told and remembered."

" _Why?_ "

Porthos turned and looked up while saying, "Because your struggles for justice deserve to be remembered."

With a shake of his head, Aramis smiled and said, "You're such a sap. Now that its finished, will you please come to bed?"

Porthos nodded and hugged Aramis tightly, after kissing his husband he whispered, "writing this book was hard, but I count myself so so lucky that I still have you."

"And you always will," smiled Aramis.

It had been a long hard, almost, two years. While Porthos had been haunted by what he had seen, it never seemed that bad, the moment Aramis had opened his eyes in the hospital, Porthos felt that he could take on anything in the world. The day Aramis was released from the hospital, Porthos had enough of waiting and had proposed, they had carved out a perfect life now. Most importantly he hadn't lost Aramis.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Athos kept his promise and the surviving Savoy gang members handed down life sentences. They would never breathe free air again. Aramis testified regarding the deaths of his first team, I went to watch and support him.

When I thought the Doctor was going to tell me they couldn't save Aramis, it turned out the pitying look was because Aramis had a punctured lung and they had to amputate a part of Aramis' lung. While Aramis woke up and was healed, it meant that he couldn't return to fully duty, his career as a SWAT officer was over. It took time for Aramis to adjust to the news, Athos, d'Artagnan, Treville and I all supported him. Treville even convinced Aramis to become an instructor at the Police Academy. Aramis would also specially train SWAT snipers, passing on his skills.

We were married four months after the call that ended Aramis' SWAT career, and not long afterwards, much to Luciana's delight, we gave her two grandchildren. The first was Robin, one my foster kids; he had been upset to hear of Aramis' injury and demanded to visit Aramis every day in the hospital. When I put forward the idea of adopting Robin, Aramis was enthusiastic. Robin even more so. I think he preferred the idea of living with Aramis more than me.

A year later, through surrogacy, we gained our daughter Josefina, who is a spitting image of Aramis right down to the dark brown eyes that I love and the dark hair starting to curl ever so slightly like Aramis'. Robin loves being an older brother and now Aramis enjoys standing with Emily on doing their part for Luciana's grandchildren count. Luciana dotes on our children and currently every Saturday is baking day where Luciana and Robin bake numerous treats.

It was a long hard road to get where we are today with our perfect family, and while I hate that Aramis was violently forced from his SWAT career. However, I would not change a single thing.

**The end.**

**Author's Note:**

> My medical knowledge is very limited, so please forgive the hand wavy way I described Aramis' injury. I hope you enjoyed reading this.


End file.
